Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Five Easy Steps to Double Your Blog Readership in Just Ten Minutes!

Rosh Hashanah is coming, so I won't be posting again until at least Sunday. My Rosh Hashanah message is on my main blog.

In the meantime, I'll leave you with this list of how to double your readership in just ten minutes.

Step 1: Begin with a blog that has only one reader. This step is critical. Without it, doubling your readership will be hard work that takes more than ten minutes.

Step 2: Write a nice catchy headline for a post that contains recycled information you picked up from a lot of other sites and is well known. In this way, your readers will like it because they'll agree with all of it, just like when they saw the same advice on that big guy's blog. You certainly don't want to come up with original ideas that challenge conventional wisdom.

Step 3: Take no more than seven minutes to write the post. If you take any more time than that, you won't be able to double your readership in only ten minutes! You certainly don't want to spend all day working on a real post that actually has value, says something new, provides real and useful information or entertainment, and is edited correctly. All that matters are the keywords required to bring in the Google searches and make your Ad-words profits sing.

Step 4: Digg, del.icio.us, and stumble the results. You're sure to get at least two people curious enough to check out your headline. It will take more than three minutes to contact other bloggers in your field who might actually enjoy the post and with whom you've built relationships. You can't do that in ten minutes!

Step 5: Congratulations! You've now doubled your readership in only ten minutes! Pop open that champagne. Don't worry about having to go back to work again the next day to make more posts and continue building relationships. That takes too long! Besides, do you want to risk tripling, or even quadrupling your readership all at once?

Shana Tova,
Yehuda Berlinger

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Top Ten Rejected Web 2.0 Ideas

1. Gonorreader - The newsgroup reader that's catching on like a virus.
2. DefrockedPriest - Your secret guide to young and agile web 2.0 religious sites.
3. YelloSno - Mark the web! Leave post-it notes anywhere on a web site. [1]
4. WreckedHum - Music covers. Go deep. Explore. See what you find.
5. Blue Balls - Frustrated at not getting what you want on the web? Click a blue ball and see what pops up!
6. Regurgit8 - Like what you once saw? See it again with this powerful bookmarking site.
7. sCatLog - The hidden web. A directory of what's left after you take out the good stuff.
8. ShoutAtYou - If you're hard of hearing, or you frequent noisy places, just forward your emails to us and we'll yell them at you over your phone. Mobile enable.
9. NotSeeLovr - An anonymous social dating chat site. You never know who you might be talking to!
10. FlemBucket - A Flemish sharing site. Take a drink of our culture and pass it around.

Yehuda

[1] Good grief, this URL exists and is a production company.